Natural Childbirth – Coping With Loved Ones Opinions

Family and friends are supposed to be there to support you in your childbirth decision, but what happens when they don’t?  I have had many, many questions from women all over the world who are dealing with this everyday so I thought I would write about how you can cope with the opinions of other people.

To research and prepare for your natural childbirth is difficult, you have to really listen to what your body is saying and follow your instincts.  To become fully prepared and ready for your natural childbirth is such a great feeling, howver, this feeling can be easily lost by someone making a negative comment. 

The biggest point that I would like you to take away from this article is that you may never be able to convince your loved ones that you are doing the right thing.  But the good news is that this is not your job, you need only be sure of what you want and continue to have faith in your baby and your body. 

If your choice is to have a home birth or a water birth at home or even a natural birth in the hospital, your loved ones may think this is unsafe and put enormous pressure on you to change your plan.  This pressure can be unrelenting and continue on throughout your whole nine months of pregnancy.   So how do you deal with this?

Firstly, remember my point above, you may never change their opinions and know that it is not your job to do so.  I have compiled a list of ways in which you can discuss your natural birth issues with your loved ones:

 

  • Fully plan for your birth and have back up plans, for example, if your are birthing at home make sure you have a trusted, qualified attendant and book into the nearest hospital so as to call upon their services if needed
  • Sit your loved ones down and let them know your plan, explain to them that it is not a discussion, merely information
  • Acknowledge that you are aware of their concern, however, you have researched what you want and are happy with your decision. 
  • Reiterate that this is not a forum for negative thoughts and ask them to kindly keep their opinions to themselves.
  • Explain to them that it is scarey being pregnant and planning for the birth that you want and ask them for positive support.
  • Direct your loved ones to relevant websites where they can learn about what you are planning.  Let me know if you need help with this.
  • Find those loved ones that support your decision and spend more time with them.
  • Make sure your partner is included in your decision making, being a strong team will help combat any negative people.
  • Praise yourself everyday on the amazing job you are doing.  Not only are you growing a baby, but your are planning for the best outcome possible for your beautiful baby.

 

You get one chance to prepare for your birth, you have 9months and when it is all over you are the one that will benefit.  You will remember your birth forever, you will tell your child how they came into this world and your successful birth will give you confidence in all areas of your life.

When I was pregnant

with my second child, I really wanted to have a natural birth so I, like so many others, researched until I was just about ready to pop.  I decided on hypnobirthing as a way to cope with labour.  I learnt, I practised and I visualised my dream birth everyday but I was constantly fighting the negative thoughts.  I was working in a birthsuite when pregnant and discussing my birth plan with my midwife friends, most were supportive, however, there were a few that felt it was all just hype and that I will call on the drugs when it came time.  To these people, I asked them to be supportive, and if they couldn’t, then I removed myself from thier company and surrounded myself with the friends who supported me.

I think most people don’t even know that they are being unsupportive so you must point it out.  This may be enough for them to change their tune, if not, then leave.  A woman’s mind is so vulnerable during pregnancy, it takes real effort to keep positive and on the right track.  So surround yourself with positive people and go over your plan daily, visualising your outcome, visualise your baby in your arms and your dream birth realised.

I have written another article on how to stay positive during your natural birth planning, it is called ‘Natural Birth – How To Stay Positive’.  Have a read and implement the strategies into you own routine.

If you have a specific questions about dealing with negative people then let me know, I am happy to answer any questions so as to keep you on track for your amazing birth.  Good luck and make your birthing dreams come true.

 

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